Ready to Detonate
By Rene Toyota, Administrative Assistant
Isaiah 1:18-20 “Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool. If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the good things of the land; but if you resist and rebel, you will be devoured by the sword.” For the mouth of the Lord has spoken.
In his June 25th devotional (“Call the Bomb Squad. And the Medic”), Jeff Page wrote about anger and how we need to give it to God before it explodes and causes harm. Jeff wrote:
"Anger is the explosion that happens when someone or something pushes our buttons."
"Outbursts of anger are often disproportionate to the cues we experience. Someone may say something rather innocent to us and all of a sudden, we go from calm to furious, instantly becoming a human torch. When that happens, it is because there is something hidden in us that has been activated by those circumstances. It is as if someone stepped on a landmine, and you are the explosion."
All that Jeff wrote is spot on. My past hurts, trauma, unforgiveness, etc. have all become land mines that surrounded me. The detonator I was holding began to fail, and every mine started to detonate. All the emotions caused me extreme exhaustion; I just wanted it all to stop.
A few days ago an issue came up during a discussion that caused my ears to perk up, my tummy to tighten, tears to well up, and my throat to tighten. I hastily excused myself before I exploded. All I could hear was, "Ready to detonate in: 10, 9, 8, 7... “
I texted a couple of friends with, "I need prayer. I am angry.” They responded back, "Praying."
As I took a few breaths and meditated, I became aware that God was there with me. I could feel His presence. I cried out, "Help me. Help me change, Help me see. Help me let go, not just the pain of today, but ALL the pain.”
And just like that, God helped me look at the situation that upset me, in a different light. The anger lifted; my breath returned to normal. I was then filled with gratitude that covered me in His peace. My detonator was still intact.
I realized at that moment, that I could not count on my own strength, my frontal cortex, or even my heart, which had failed me in the past. This time, I had to rely completely on God our Father, our Healer, and listen to Him. I had let go and trust in Him to settle my matters.
Will you let go and let Him do the same for you?
Prayer: God, thank You for Your abundant mercy and your endless forgiveness. Lord, assist us to not be quickly provoked in our spirit, but to remember instead that “anger resides in the lap of fools.” Help us not to pursue rebellion, but rather stand in obedience in pursuing Your guidance and peace so that we do not self-detonate and cause unnecessary explosions around us. Amen.
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