A Different Kind of Fast
by Kathy Makuakane, Executive Assistant
I don’t know how your fast is going, but I have “fallen off the wagon” many times since we started in mid-October. Pretty much every day, in fact. This has been a season of falling down and getting back up over and over again. And I fully expect to finish poorly a week from now. But finish I will. I know it sounds like failure, but it really isn’t.
You see, I’m fasting from worry. Every time I have managed to resume my fast after breaking into worry, I am learning more deeply to trust God. Each relapse is an opportunity for a better, stronger walk with Him. It’s like a toddler learning to stay upright. It is a bumpy, repetitive, slow process. Ha! Maybe I should call it a “slow,” not a fast.
Here is one example of my struggle. I have two grown sons and, typical of most mothers, I still tend to worry about them. I want their lives to be protected and easy and happy. But though I don’t like it, I know God uses difficulty and even pain to change us and benefit us. That means I must trust God to take my sons through hard to give them good. I must give them to Him in prayer … and let go. The opposite of worry is trust.
The story of Hannah in 1 Samuel 1 is a prime example of learning that kind of trust. Hannah was in anguish with worry that she didn’t have a child. Over and over again, she cried, she prayed, and she refused to eat.
1 Samuel 1:11 She made this vow: O Lord of Heaven’s Armies, if You will look upon my sorrow and answer my prayer and give me a son, then I will give him back to You. He will be Yours for his entire lifetime….
Then, one year, after being encouraged by the priest Eli about God’s goodness, her attitude shifted and she entrusted her heart’s desire completely to God. That act of trust, that renouncing of worry, brought back her appetite and lifted her sadness.
1 Samuel 1:18 …Then she went back and began to eat again, and she was no longer sad.
I think it’s important to note that this change happened before she was given her heart’s desire. Did her heart’s desire actually change from having a child to trusting God as His child? Would her happiness have remained no matter how her story played out? I suspect so.
That’s the kind of walk I want with my Father. I don’t want to second guess Him. I know He is good. I know He loves me (and my sons). I know He is all-powerful and all-knowing. So, I will not worry. Well, I probably will, but I won’t keep worrying.
Prayer: Father, thank You that You walk with us as we learn to trust You. Even when we worry, You wait with us until we are able to allow our hearts to believe that You are the one that holds us “fast.” We give You this last week of our fast and ask You to help us walk closer with You. In the trustworthy name of Jesus, Amen.
