When You Don’t Understand

April 23, 2020

By Marianna Meachen, Director of Care Ministries

Proverbs 3: 5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight. (NIV)

 On April 6, 2017 my husband Rich died. It was a sad, lonely time. Life was not the same. I felt isolated from the world. I didn’t feel like me anymore. There was no “normal” in my life.

This was not my first loss, not even the first husband I had lost. You see, I was widowed at 29. Losing Rich doubled my pain, and I was so confused. I had lots of questions for God: Was there something I had done to warrant this? Was I not good enough to have a husband in God’s eyes? Did God not love me? Was I being punished?

 But in spite of those questions and doubts, the first thing from my mouth every morning was, “Good morning, God. I love You. I trust You. I don’t understand.”

As I began to pour out my heart to Him and looked for solace in the Bible, I eventually dropped the “I don’t understand” part. I would just say, “Good morning, God. I love You, and I trust You.”

Did my circumstances change? No. I still woke up alone each morning. What changed was my heart and my outlook. I simply decided to trust Him fully and in all circumstances. I chose to trust that His plan for my life was greater than what I could see around me. I chose to believe that He loved me. I chose to believe that I did not understand the bigger picture. I chose to believe God wanted to walk with me to the place where I could find my “new” normal.

This time of sheltering in place may feel as though your old normal has died. But this time of uncertainty could be a time to sharpen your faith, your spiritual maturity, and dependency on Jesus.

 Here is what I learned from my own experience.

1.     DEPEND ON GOD’S STRENGTH, NOT YOURS. We need to be truly rooted in the Lord if we are to fully trust Him. Your heart must be connected with His. Make Him your lifeline. Pray, pray, pray.

2.     SEEK GOD. Cry out to Him. Tell him everything! This is indispensable. The time spent on my knees gave me complete rest in Him. It was when I began to have insight into God’s holiness.

3.     PUT GOD FIRST. The moment we put Him first in our lives is the moment He can act on our behalf. Read Scripture first thing in the morning. When we make Him first, it gives an opportunity for the natural to encounter the supernatural.

When you are in His presence continually, you will encounter Him in a new and beneficial way. It will help diminish your fears, your hurts, and your heartaches. 

Prayer: Father, we love You and trust You. Let us seek You continually, putting You first. Let us rest in Your arms, the place we call home. Let us not be afraid to step into the unknown and scary places in our lives and trust You in the uncertainty. Amen

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