Keeping It Real
By Roslyn Catracchia, Director of Worship
Two weeks ago Pastor Dan and Hawaiian Islands Ministries hosted a webinar led by Pete Greig called God On Mute. The title intrigued me. And honestly, I’ve amassed a significant list of questions for God over the years—questions that have seemingly gone unanswered.
So I clicked on the link at 9 am that Saturday morning, unsure of what I had hoped to get out of it, but the hour and a half far exceeded my expectations. I knew it would be good. I’d heard Pete Greig speak several times before, and found him always thoughtful, always real. But this “real” was on a whole ‘nother level. He spoke about the hardest times of his life, which were so painful and difficult. And he shared how he wrestled with God about his frustrations and questions, and about why God seems so often silent and unresponsive.
Instead of being discouraged by all he was sharing regarding his struggles, I felt encouraged – almost as if I’d been given permission to question God out loud as well, and give voice to my doubts and frustrations. As Chris Pan preached on October 25th, sharing from the Pray As You Go prayer app:
“There can be pressure from other Christians to not feel depressed or anxious or lonely. As if it must be a sign of lack of faith. We can internalize that judgment, so that becomes a lack of acceptance of my condition and of myself. This can make me feel more depressed or anxious or lonely. But how about I let myself feel what I feel. I sit quietly with it and allow it to be whatever it is, just now. Just as I am, I let the God who loves me look at me and be with me.”
As many of you may have read in Patty Kamahele’s devotional on October 21, she shared that her beautiful, dear husband Francis recently passed away. I’ve known Patty and Francis for such a long time. My heart broke when she told me the news. I know he is in heaven with his Lord and Savior. But I’ve rarely seen a couple who are so clearly soul mates. Soon after he passed, I was driving and thinking of her, praying for her, knowing how much she is hurting because they were soul mates. And it hit me that I was still hurting from my mom’s passing, and the thought hit me that my mom was my soul mate. The tears flowed, and I talked with God out loud, telling Him how much I still hurt, and how deeply I missed her still. I didn’t expect to feel the wave of emotions so strongly almost three years later. But it came.
I’m so thankful for Pete Greig keeping it real as he spoke to us. So thankful that, at the urging of his wife, he wrote the book called God On Mute based on their questions and struggles. I purchased the audiobook, which I’ve listened to almost twice in a week. Then I went to Logos bookstore and got a real book that I can hold in my hands, underline, and highlight. I know it’s going to be one of my favorite books that I will read again and again.
If you are feeling deeply low, if you are feeling like God is silent, I encourage you to reach out to someone. If the first person doesn’t respond in a helpful way, don’t give up, find someone else! And if you are a reader, I encourage you to get Pete’s book, either audiobook or one you can hold in your hand, and turn the pages filled with life-giving words.
I know I’m going to continue to have questions. The world turned upside down in 2020 for many of us. It would be unnatural to NOT have questions. But I’m encouraged by Pete’s keeping it real to me, myself, keep it real with God, and just talk with Him about everything. Absolutely everything.
What a friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer.
(from the hymn What A Friend We Have In Jesus by Joseph Scriven)
Prayer: Heavenly Father, thank You that as we draw near to You, You draw near to us. Thank You that we can tell You everything, sometimes simply with tears and groans too deep for words. Thank You that You hear our every cry, and that You are with us in times of celebrations, times of laughter, and times of tears. Thank You for reminding us that we are not alone, and that we can always come just as we are. Amen.
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