I Hope It's My Fault
by Jeff Page, Director of Young Adults Ministry
Daniel 9:4–6, 9 (TNIV) 4 I prayed to the Lord my God and confessed: “Lord, the great and awesome God who keeps His covenant of love with those who love Him and keep His commandments, 5 we have sinned and done wrong. We have been wicked and have rebelled; we have turned away from Your commands and laws. 6 We have not listened to Your servants the prophets, who spoke in Your name to our kings, our princes and our ancestors, and to all the people of the land.... 9 The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against Him.
In TS Eliot’s The Cocktail Party, a woman receiving free therapy describes her real and significant problems to a therapist. After describing her bleak situation she says, “I hope it’s my fault.” The stunned therapist asks for clarification. Her reply: “If it’s my fault, then I can make changes and things will be different, but if this is just the way things are, if the world is just against me, then I’m doomed.”
It’s actually a very hopeful thing to find out that our problems are in some part our own fault. It means a better future is in reach.
In our Scripture passage, Daniel’s world was a mess, but his prayer shocks us. “We have sinned,” he said. Wait, Daniel was kidnapped as a child, enslaved to a brutal empire, and the Scriptures record nothing but courage and righteous living from him. If anyone had a right to feel like a hopeless innocent bystander it was Daniel.
Our world is kind of a mess –– as a result of Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, sky-rocketing inflation, and political, societal, and international disintegration.
I’m tempted to pray: “Lord, they have sinned. Our world is a mess because of Putin, the military industrial complex, millennials, boomers, rich people, big business, the patriarchy, social justice warriors, corrupt politicians, and governments…”
But what do all those have in common?
Answer: They should all get off my lawn? No, the common thread is I have very little influence over anything on that list. A deep incisive understanding of those problems will likely change nothing. But a fearless and searching inventory of my own shortcomings can result in dramatic, immediate, and lasting change for the good.
Why does my attention constantly focus outwards? Because I take myself way too seriously. I am more committed to being perceived as right, good, and respectable than to improving the world for everyone (including me). I am caught by the inability to laugh at myself, or the horrifying possibility that others may laugh at me.
I am seriously considering buying a squeaky clown nose. I need a tangible reminder that the world won’t end if I look silly. Maybe putting it on now and again will help me chuckle along with Jesus at myself. Let’s face it; a clown nose clearly matches my size 14 shoes.
Early in the 1900’s the London Times posed the question many of us are facing: “What is wrong with the world today?” May God give us the grace and humble lightheartedness to answer with G.K Chesterton’s counterintuitively hopeful answer: “Dear sir, I am.”
Prayer: Father, I hope it’s my fault. Lord, our world is a mess, but things can be different. We have sinned. Jesus, help us to hear Your infectious and affectionate giggling that will help us to own our own silliness and buffoonery before they darken into something much worse. Amen
