The Uncle Bob Letters
By Scott Schultz (Elder) and Marianne Schultz (Deacon)
Proverbs 1:23 (NLT) Come and listen to my counsel. I’ll share my heart with you and make you wise.
[Scott] Sometimes people ask us for marriage advice or “our secret” to apparent bliss. I hesitate to answer this for several reasons, primarily because I am unable to elucidate such an improbable and inexplicable blessing. So, I usually make some lighthearted comment and “point” to Marianne (aka MEWS) and God. And strive to let her (and Him) have the last word.
“Long long time ago…” (thanks, Don McLean), specifically, July 3, 1982, when our (Reverend) Uncle Bob (my Mom’s brother) joined us in marriage, aided by his wonderful wife Aunt Bobbie.
Before marrying us, Bob typed three letters which served as pre-marital counseling (sent via US Mail from Buffalo NY to Evanston IL), and required us to write back! We saved these letters and have shared them with a few young people, since they contain timeless wisdom. Aunt Bobbie was fully present in his words and added her own to the third letter. Here are a few excerpts:
January 17, 1982: "The Commitment…is the important part…saying to one another that, with the caring of God as your constant guide, you will love and cherish and stay with one another come what may. The Celebration… (is when) you and all present want to express the joy that you will feel and all will feel.”
May 13, 1982: "All I can say to you both is that what you have expressed is a wonderful way to start - and your caring for each other is the best resource you can have for the testing years ahead. And you will have them - not so much in crises, which often serve to draw people together - but in inevitable fading, in boredom, in growing apart. How you deal with this will determine your marriage. And how you deal with others will determine, ultimately, the meaning of your lives."
June 1982: "Two things you ought to know from my three letters - I believe in life and in marriage as the finest possible fulfillment of life, potentially at least. I believe in both of you and am overjoyed to be part of this most important beginning Celebration of your life together. There is a great Hebrew word, Shalom, which encompasses all of the best of life now and in the days ahead, among you and among all peoples everywhere. And so, in expectancy may I wish you ahead of the time ... Love and Shalom, Your Uncle Bob”
Here is the only passage Uncle Bob quoted (hint – it’s “the secret”):
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NLT) Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
[MEWS] Our wedding day had arrived! The hotel was perfect for the ceremony and reception. Uncle Bob and Aunt Bobbie really had hoped we would have a church setting, so they decided to do it themselves! There they were, building a little altar for us. How lovely of them! I had no wedding planner or videographer; I did it myself with some help from my mom. (Scott: I stayed out of the way.) On that day I heeded Bob’s words, for I certainly was not anxious. Their real worth was evident from beginning to end and remains so 39 years later.
The wise advice given to us 39 years ago coincided with Uncle Bob and Aunt Bobbie’s 39th anniversary. He wrote eloquently of the reason “church” was so important but fading from the lives of young people. Both truly hoped that we would not “do life” alone but find community and family within a church. Little did we know back then that in 2010 we would come upon such a wonderful combination at First Prez Honolulu.
Uncle Bob passed away in 2009. I wish he could have seen our joy in finding just what he hoped when we found true joy within a faith-based family. I am sure he and Bobbie are rejoicing in heaven. With our love and the support of the church to nurture our faith and strengthen us in all situations, we are truly blessed. Indeed, as he said it takes 10-15 minutes to affirm love to each other in a marriage.
He wrote: “…you will somehow grow to love each other with a greater depth twenty or thirty or more years from now than you do at this moment - those brief 10 minutes will sum it all up and include both personal and religious faith and the need for affirming it in community church.”
How right he was! With Scott by my side, we are an amazing team full of faith, love, friendship, and commitment to serving God in many ways with fulfilling joy!
Prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for the gift and blessing of marriage. Help us to share the blessings of Your love as given through Jesus, reflect Your light, and walk humbly with each other and You every day. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.
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