Angst To Awe
By Patti Marshall, Session Elder
Guess where I spent multi-day stays in January and February 2021?
Hints: ER admitting, well-worn hospital gowns, uncomfortable blood draws, repeated IV set ups, unfamiliar faces and voices, new smells and sounds, a deluge of questions, proof of ID, freeeeeezing temperatures, many procedures and tests, and pain. Yup, a hospital. Adventist Health Castle became my personal VRBO and Airbnb!
Was there angst? Apprehension? Worry? Fear? Helplessness? Yes, to the max! As hard as I tried, I couldn’t separate these feelings as neither was strong nor weak enough to distinguish which one was “front and center”. Each felt like a twin to the other. They were a full plate of mixed emotions, thoughts and an undefined feeling of uncertainty and unrest.
The uneasiness lingered until one day, I looked at the patient information board in my room. Above the board was the hospital’s We Promise To:
Tell you who we are and what we are doing
Partner with you to plan your care
Listen and respond to your needs
Round on you hourly
Safely control your pain
Respond to your call button in a timely manner
Wash our hands and check your ID bracelet for your safety
Within moments, angst ebbed and awe flowed. A favorite song came to mind (Peace Maker by Greg Ferguson), followed by God’s words of love, reassurance, and comfort. The hospital’s We Promise To shifted to the I, God, Promise To:
Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely, I will help you, surely, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)
Before they call I will answer; while they are yet speaking I will hear. (Isaiah 65:24)
Behold, I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land. For I will not leave until I have done what I have promised you. (Genesis 28:15)
I am leaving you with a gift-peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. (John 14:27)
The Lord is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth. (Psalm 145:18)
O Lord, You have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, You know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay Your hand upon me. ... (Psalm 139:1-24)
Prayer: Holy Peace Maker, Jesus, You tell us to be anxious about nothing, but we forget and feel overwhelmed. Help us to cast our angst/anxiety on You right away. Thank you for meeting us where ever we are in our moments of “churning insides and whirring minds”. Teach us daily how to cast all our anxiety on You. We know You care for us. Thank you. In the name of Jesus of Nazareth. Amen
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