ALL IS WELL

JULY 10, 2020

By Kathy Makuakane, Executive Assistant to the Senior Pastor

I was beyond tense. I was flipping through every trick in my head to try to relax as the endodontist began the root canal. I was scared, having heard horror stories. I felt suffocated by the dental contraptions jammed into my mouth. I was anxious about the cost, compounded by the uncertainty that this would fix the issue with the tooth and, if it didn’t, there would be more scary procedures and even more cost.

And then I started to recognize what felt like grief. For my entire adult life, I have enjoyed very good dental health with no need for even a filling. Now, I was lying there allowing someone to systematically and irreversibly damage my tooth. The end result might be that I would lose my tooth. MY tooth! I was grieving my tooth, as silly as that sounds. Scared, stressed and feeling very sorry for myself, I could feel tears start to rise.

Stop it, Kathy! It is what it is. This is such a small problem. Knock it off! Snap out of it!

Nope. That wasn’t working. I could not talk myself out of the emotional spiral.

Lord, I need Your help! I’m going to lose it right here in front of everybody. I feel alone, powerless, and miserable. You say You are always with me. Does that mean right now? Are You here now? Can you please show me? Papa? Please?

And then this took over my thoughts: “That’s not your tooth. That’s My tooth.”

I was stunned. I had hoped for soothing. Quite honestly, I had expected silence. Instead, by His words, it was clear God was with me indeed in that room, and His words stopped my runaway thoughts instantly, and my body relaxed.

Oh! Yes, Lord. This is Your tooth, not mine. Everything I have comes from You. Everything I have is Yours. Even my tooth. I get to use it until I don’t. Thank You that it has served me so well all these years. Thank You that the doctors may be able to allow me to use it awhile more. And if not, thank You that You are with me and that means all is well. Thank You for telling me that.

That was, for me, one of those rare, life-marking, paradigm shifts. I will always remember every detail of the room and God’s exact words: “That’s not yours. That’s Mine.” Whatever happens to me, He is with me and all is well. I will never really lose anything, because He owns it all and He Himself is enough for me.

When my mom died at the age I am now, God was there. When I lost two babies to miscarriage, He was there. When my 36-year marriage disintegrated, He was there. As I age and my body starts to fail, He is there. When a pandemic upends our lives, He is there. No matter what may come, He is there. And it is all His.

I know that my little episode was over something pretty insignificant, but the message God spoke is true no matter what we face, even the most devastating trials. I hope this will help you when you are faced with change or loss or anxiety or fear or grief. Please remind me about it when I’m faced with them too, okay? Knowing me, I will still tend to fret.

“You, Lord, are all I have, and you give me all I need; my future is in your hands. How wonderful are your gifts to me; how good they are! I praise the Lord, because he guides me, and in the night my conscience warns me. I am always aware of the Lord's presence; he is near, and nothing can shake me. And so I am thankful and glad, and I feel completely secure.” (Psalm 16:5-9)

Prayer: Lord, even Your name—Emmanuel—tells us You are with us. You have told us not to be anxious for good reason. You are good and trustworthy. Everything we have is Yours. You are with us and all is well. Thank You. Amen.

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